Smidford P. Smidford

Smid didn't want any mail. Or at least it didn't appear that he wanted any.

Let me explain. In order for Smidley to "do his business" he was required to be chained to the handrail beside the front porch. That way he could hang out, do his business, and not be accidentally bitten by Willie, our German Shepard, who lived in the back yard. When Smid had to go, it was much easier to put him in the front.

One of the requirements was to not leave Smid out if the mail hasn't been delivered. Smid barked and growled at the mailman. Part of his problem was, Smid had cataracts. His eyesight was very poor. He was frightened by noises, such as someone walking on our wooden front porch. Inside or outside, Sidney was enlivened by noises on the front porch. If Smid was outside, we got no mail. When the mail was finally delivered, had he been left out, the mailman wrote on a piece of mail, "dog on porch". It was that "vicious" that inspired his name. I never saw him bite anybody, but he sure gave the impression that he would. Sidney was very unfriendly to strangers. We even got a circular from the post office explaining how many mail carriers are bitten by dogs each year. That was fruitless. We knew about all that, but the one doing the, potential, biting didn't know how to read and if he could, he couldn't see well enough to read.

It was speculated that the reason Smid wouldn't let the mailman on the porch was, he never got any mail. He never got any mail until one day, some sort of music-type magazine arrived addressed to "Smidford P. Smidford" with our address on it. Nope, it didn't make Sidney change his ways. He still acted like he didn't want any mail.